Testy Fest

While in town, getting the tubes. A guy noticed our bikes. said something along the lines of you guys are girls, then changed to you guys are reel men (saw my hat). He proceeded to inform us of the Nationally acclaimed Testicle Festival going on that day just 20 mins outside of town. He just warned us that if we didnt have 12" we should refrain from taking our pants off there. This was going to be tough. So after tubing we made our way towards the nutfest where we planned on eating our fill of rocky mountain oysters. Just as we were about to start the bikes we noticed kevins bike was already on. weird. battery was dead. oh. I spied a laundromat down the street. First asked if anybody had jumper cables in their laundry basket. no dice. So i grabbed two coat hangers and stripped then ends with my buck. Put my finger ony my nose to imply kevin could hold the electrodes, and got to work strippin the bike down to the battery. Well after a few minutes of rigging we had our bikes frankenwired together. I started mine. Told kevin to start his. Nothing. Weird. the coat hangers didnt have the ampacity to carry the curent. Damn cheap coat hangers. So we walked across the street, looked in the back of a Wrangler and wouldnt you know it... more coat hangers. Just kdding, jumper cables. sweet. jumped em and we were off.

got to the festival asked how much to camp. at the gate she said something, something, for you 35. Id rather spend 35 bucks on my fill of cow balls. We turned around, headed mile and a half down the road. When no cars we looking, we road a trail a hundred yards in next to a creek and called it free. Covered the bikes, grabbed the growler and it was time for dinner!
Got there hopped the barbwire fence, and we were in. First thing we see is a fat harley biker singing a sad karoake song. weird. musta had too many oysters today. As we made our way through this biker pavilion, we waded through drunk bikers and topless women. Times running out. The testy fest was great, grand, wonderful. After acquiring some beads, and a nipple gauge we quickly got rid of them... out of time sorry.